Fit My "Spread?"

While in Orlando, my wife decided we should take in one of those "outlet" malls to look around for some deals.  Unfortunately, about three thousand people seemed to have the same "idea" and the mall was jammed packed.  In fact, there was not a single parking space available in the entire mall, which was quite large.  Having scoped out another smaller "outlet" mall closer to our hotel, that became plan "B."  Ah, that did the trick and we were off "looking", aka Window Shopping.  Upon reaching a store that shall remain nameless, but one of our favorites for buying dress shirts at decent prices, we decided to "drop" in.  Now, I am not a fashion person, but one thing I have discovered through the years, and that is that I am not a "slim fit" kind of shirt wearer (can you say "gut?").  In addition to having rows of "Slim fit" shirts, the place actually had a wall of mens' shirts labeled "Feminine Fit."  Uhm, excuse me?  Feminine Fit?  Are Bros (AKA a man's bra) and Girdles (Compression shorts?) supposed to go with those shirts?  What happened to the shirts I was expecting to find?  You know, the "Fat Fit" ones?  Are they so rare now that they otherwise would become an oxymoron, FAT FIT?  What's fit about fat? 
         Well anyway, we did find "Classic fit" which is code for "Fat" or "White Haired, Older Gentlemens Fit.  Perfect, I found exactly what I needed...not Fat Fit, not Wide Body Fit, not Gut Fit, not Slim Fit and certainly not Feminine Fit, but real middle age , older American "Classic" fit.  I guess, just like the music of my youth, I am now considered a "Classic,"  including the shirts that fit my "Spread."
Back to Politics Tomorrow...
        

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